VALKYRIE ARMS, LTD
VALKYRIE ARMS, LTD
Great Moments in Bureaucratic History
"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, 'Thank God I'm still alive.' But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."
"I think if you write an unconstitutional resolution, you should be correct."
"The House will not allow you to circumvent the rules unless you do it right."
"I'm on both sides of the law enforcement issue."
"We're not setting a precedent here today if we lie."
"Before I give you the benefit of my remarks, I'd like to know what we're talking about."
"To hell with posterity! What's posterity ever done for us?"
"I don't want to beat a dead horse to death."
"This mortality rate is killing us!"
"I'm not sure if I understand the question, but I agree with you."
"I came to a fork in the road and I took it."
"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate."
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
"The exports include thumbscrews and cattle prods, just routine items for the police."
"Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway."
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass--and I'm just the one to do it."
"He's trying to take the decision out of the hands of twelve honest men and give it to 435 Congressmen!"
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe."
"I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted."
"The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President; hijackiing an airliner; and murdering a government poultry inspector."
"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school department is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."
"I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear."
"I resent your insinuendoes."
"Get the thing straight once and for all. The policeman isn't there to create disorder. The policeman is there to preserve disorder."
"I don't want to cast asparagus at my opponent."
"This is the worst disaster in California since I was elected."
"I believe that this country's policies should be heavily biased in favor of non-discrimination."
"If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same."
"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been."
"I always wait until a jury has spoken before I anticipate what they will do."
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
"In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent..."
"The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words."
"... hazards are one of the main causes of accidents."
"And what is more, I agree with everything that I have just said."
"Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans."
"I think that we're on the road to coming up with answers that I don't think any of us in total feel we have the answers to."
"My fellow astronauts..."
"Due to an administrative error, the original of the attached letter was forwarded to you. A new original has been accomplished and forwarded to AAC/JA. Please place this carbon copy in your files and destroy the original."
"[I want to] make sure everybody who has a job wants a job."
"Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."
"We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report."
"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
"This is a great day for France!"
"[That report was]... a wholly garbled version of what never took place."
"This is the operative statement. The others are inoperative."
"I never said I had no idea about most of the things you said I said I had no idea about."
"That was consciously ambiguous in the sense that any terrorist government or terrorist movement that is contemplating such actions I think knows clearly what we are speaking of."
John Sununu (then governor of New Hampshire):
"An agency subject to the provisions of the Federal Reports Act may enter into an arrangement with an organization not subject to the Act whereby the organization not subject to the Act collects information on behalf of the agency subject to the Act. The reverse also occurs."
"We on this side of the House are not such fools as we look."
"Honest businessmen should be protected from the unscrupulous consumer."
"If Governor Fields is right, I am going to stand by him because he is right. If he is wrong, I am going to stand by him because he is a Democrat."
"If crime went down 100%, it would still be fifty times higher than it should be."
Senate Agriculture Chairman Jesse Helms:
"Anything concerning the Ambassador's swimming pool must be referred to as water storage tank not as swimming pool."
"... casual drug users ought to be taken out and shot."
"[Hijackers should be given] a rapid trial... with due process of law at the airport, then hanged."
"There have been allegations a number of students at schools in Brooklyn may have been involved in having some knowledge, particularly about social studies and possibly English."
"Minnesota voters played a major role in the victory of that state's gubernatorial primary elections yesterday."
"If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for me."
"I've got 423 dairy farmers in my district, and I've got to rise above principle."
"Nixon has been sitting in the White House while George McGovern has been exposing himself to the people of the United States."
"Some of the facts are true, some are distorted, and some are untrue."
"Everyone who is for abortion was at one time a feces."
"Information is voluntary. Failure to provide information could subject individual to be called on extended active duty when member might be eligible for assignment to Standby Reserve..."
"I move, Mr. Chairman, that all fire extinguishers be examined ten days before every fire."
"[I am] pro-choice with limitations, pro-life with exceptions."
"I've lived under situations where every decent man declared war first and I've lived under situations where you don't declare war. We've been flexible enough to kill people without declaring war."
"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex... uh ... setbacks."
"[I ask you to] work together with me for a better life for oil.. I mean all."
"I believe that we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change."
"I have opinions, strong ones, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I agree with them."
"We are not ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
"No unmet needs exist and ... current unmet needs that are being met will continue to be met."
"The rights you have are the rights given to you by Committee. We will determine what rights you have and what rights you have not got."
"You hear about constitutional rights, free speech, and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Communist!" You never hear a real American talk like that."
"This strategy represents our policy for all time. Until it's changed."
"There's no textbook on judgment. I might make one or two other [mistakes], but it will certainly be with great forethought."
1. Resolved, by this council, that we build a new jail.
"If a person is innocent of a crime, then he is not a suspect."
"The President is aware of what is going on. That's not to say there is something going on."
"If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth."
"I was not lying, I said things that later on seemed to be untrue."
"I desire what is good. Therefore, everyone who does not agree with me is a traitor."
"[It is] not fair to say that I have misinformed Congress or other Cabinet officers. I haven't testified to that. I've testified that I withheld information from Congress. And with regard to the Cabinet officers, I didn't withhold anything from them that they didn't want withheld from them."
"I apologize for lying to you... I promise I won't deceive you except in matters of this sort."
"Even if he were mediocre, there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. Don't they deserve some representation on the court?"
"Why can't the Jews and the Arabs just sit down together and settle this like good Christians?"
"It is necessary for technical reasons that these warheads should be stored with the top at the bottom, and the bottom at the top. In order that there may be no doubt as to which is the top and which is the bottom, for storage purposes, it will be seen that the bottom of each head has been labeled with the word TOP."
"I'm one of those who sort of vacillates as we can afford to vacillate. My bend toward conservatism is purely and simply based on ... economic circumstances... It may be that, by the next campaign, circumstances would be somewhat better and it may be that I would be somewhat more liberal."
"To hell with the public! I'm here to represent the people!"
Walter Mondale (Democratic candidate):
"We are in favor of a law which absolutely prohibits the sale of liquor on Sunday, but we are against its enforcement."
"I have not reneged on my promise. I have changed my mind."
"In a general way, we try to anticipate some of your questions so that I can respond "No comment" with some degree of knowledge."
"Have we gone beyond the bounds of reasonable dishonesty?"
"I say this a lot, and I probably shouldn't: the difference between rape and seduction is salesmanship."
"The thing is --- we have incidents happening here all the time."
"Should the Red hordes continue to pour across the Yalu, it might not only render impossible the resumption of our offensive, but conceivably could eventuate in a movement in retrograde."
"Wait a minute! I'm not interested in agriculture. I want the military stuff."
"These are not my figures I'm quoting. They're from someone who knows what he's talking about."
"I am philosophically opposed to any fare increase... That does not mean I will not support one."
"If a third or more of our population were killed in a nuclear attack..... a stronger estate tax would have a tremendous revenue potential."
Nassau County, New York Telephone Directory listing:
"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity."
"There's a lot of uncertainty that's not clear in my mind."
"There are two kinds of truth. There are real truths and there are made-up truths."
"The honorable member did not want the truth; the honorable member had asked for facts."
"When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results."
"That's the most unheard-of thing I ever heard of."
"I do not feel that we should allow a shortage of funds to prevent cities from financing needed projects."
"I think that the free-enterprise system is absolutely too important to be left to the voluntary action of the marketplace."
"There are instances where it is in the best interests of the nation not to vote the will of the people."
"I don't know anyone here that's been killed with a handgun."
"I can't believe that we are going to let a majority of the people decide what is best for this state."
"This amendment does more damage than it does harm."
"This has all the earmarks of an eyesore."
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
"The president has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
"If you've seen one redwood tree, you've seen them all. "
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
"The Internet is a great way to get on the net."
"It's like an Alcatraz around my neck."
"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off."
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."
"A billion here, a billion there -- sooner or later it adds up to real money."
"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet."
"How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?"
"Now let's see here if I understand all this correctly. President Clinton has ordered our forces to engage an entrenched, politically motivated enemy, backed by the Russians, on their home ground, in a foreign civil war, in difficult terrain, with limited military objectives, bombing restrictions, boundary and operational restrictions, queasy allies, far across the ocean, with uncertain goals, without prior consultation with Congress, the potential for escalation, while limiting the forces at his disposal, and the majority of Americans opposed to or at least uncertain about the value of the action being worth American lives. So just what was it that he was opposed to in Vietnam?"
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
"What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?"
"I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."
"People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then? WOULD IT!?!"
"The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sacrifice."
"People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than the president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure you there are."
"I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?"
"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."
"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."
"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."
"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
"The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather."
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